Imagine 100 people in a line up in front of you, each one geared up and ready to tell you you’re irrational.
Why? Because the idea of being called irrational is adrenaline pumping. As in, you default to hyper defense, adrenal draining mode when it comes up. Which means it’s in your best interest to take a look at it.
Thoughts come up, like: If I accept their label of irrational, that means there is something wrong with me. And there can’t be something wrong with me. My mantra is: It’s Not OK for people to think I’m not ok; It’s Not OK for people to think I’m not ok. Must not happen. Cannot happen.
Gentle pause for peace inducing thought: Their label of irrational isn’t the true definition of irrational. It’s the label they give to anyone who doesn’t go along with what they want.
If you choose that as truth, then you have some options:
Speak — “Your label of irrational isn’t the true definition of irrational. It’s the label you give anyone who doesn’t do things the way you believe they should be done. Ie, in a way that suits your agenda.” (NOTE: This is gas lighting, a term for anyone who manipulates a person into questioning their own sanity using psychological means. Scary stuff. Prevalent. Look out for it. Here’s a book that will help you identify it.)
Don’t Speak, But Remember — I will never see this person again. This is not worth my time. I need to protect my well being, by not giving so much of myself to something that doesn’t require it.
And then comes peace through self-assertion:
I know what the irrational label means. A rejection of boundaries. A fear of boundaries. A fear of me and my right to protect me.
To accept me as rational would require the labeler to accept their entire way of living as irrational. That terrifies them, so they label me as irrational, instead. This does not mean I am irrational.
We can accept that someone labels us irrational, but that doesn’t mean that’s what We Are.
Thoughts to ponder, to help you experience more peace in your life. And also, there’s this:
Clarity comes when we dare to look at what upsets us instead of running from it.
Originally published at mustlovecrows.com on October 13, 2018.