The Capacity to Agree

Andrea Scoretz
2 min readJul 4, 2023

this is your point of power

What we’re really looking for is the capacity to agree with what we are being given from someone.

Think of all the inner reserves we syphon from ourselves, fighting with what we are being offered.

The complaining, the push back — all of it — it comes from an unwillingness to agree — “this is what this person is offering me at this moment.”

What they are offering us does not have to align with what we want them to offer us.

There’s no growth in that. No lesson — no Truth.

Our capacity to not argue with what we are being given is our point of power.

So we focus on learning how to agree.

“OK — so this is what they are offering me right now. <Insert appropriate synonym for discomfort here>”

And then ask of ourselves:

“How well versed am I at being with how this feels? Do I need to work on my capacity to tolerate strong emotions?” (Yes)

“Do I immediately want to argue with what they are showing up with?”

“Am i looking for reasons/excuses why I shouldn’t have to agree with what they are offering here?”

“Do I default to considering how to negotiate my way out of having to accept what they have shown up with?”

Agreeing is acceptance. If you think it’s an advocation for condoning shitty behavior, this is not the conversation for you — yet.

We learn to agree & accept through learning how to be with all the unimaginative ways we try deny the need to agree with & accept.

“I accept what you are showing up with.” Power.

Only in the process of acceptance can we begin to understand our point of power.

You can’t argue with this. Well, you can. But it’s like being on an evolutionary hamster wheel.