Nursing The Hurt: Why We Need To Address Our Pain Instead of Coddling It
I came across this phrase the other day, nursing the hurt.
When I first read it I started thinking, “Isn’t it silly how much we nurse and coddle our pain? Geez. We all gotta let go of the stuff that’s bringing us down.”
But then I had an interesting couple of days, (read: challenging) and with a little help from a friend, re-evaluated my initial conclusions.
There’s feeling sorry for yourself, and not taking ownership of your contribution to the perceived negative stuff in your life.
That’s the pity game which I know from experience leaves you stagnant.
And then there’s facing your fears by way of acknowledging the stuff you internalize — the thoughts and feeling that keep you from moving towards the life you ache for.
Part of that process entails letting the hurt out.
Not sneering at it. Not belittling it. Just letting it speak.
So we let the bad feelings take the floor — and in doing so we acknowledge them. We allow them to be coddled and nursed as they obviously want to be.
And then we lay down some hard-core logic once they’ve had their time in the spotlight. We explain, like a parent to a child, why those thoughts aren’t going to work anymore.
We say, “listen, I know you’re freaked out, but I got you. I got this. We are going to be OK.”
I’m reminded of the movie Shrek, and that lovely green ogre saying, “better out than in I always say.”
We all just want to be heard and validated and acknowledged. And so does the fear.
When we let the fear speak — we release it.
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Andrea Scoretz is a freelance writer, storyteller, and Huffington Post blogger from Vancouver Island, Canada. Contact her via me@mustlovecrows.com or check out more of her writing: www.mustlovecrows.com
