Engaging With The Creative Force Within
a story about change
Imagine if each day of your life, you woke up & automatically filled a watering jug with water. You took the jug and headed directly to a set of long-since-abandoned train tracks, to water the weeds that lined the steel & wooden straight stretch.
It’s what you knew to do, which made it comforting — familiar. But below the surface you sensed a low grade anxiety every morning. There was fear there. Didn’t want whatever was causing the unease to surface, so you kept to your track & weed watering every day, hoping that keeping busy would keep the fear at bay.
But your body spoke the truth to you.
One day, as your wrist twinged from tipping the overflowing water jug for the 500th time, you felt a rumble below your feet — then a horn blared. “Haven’t heard that sound in years…couldn’t be a….TRAIN!?!” Yes, a train, barreling down the tracks, straight for you. You scream, leaping for the ditch, barely making it out of the way before the train rips across the excessively hydrated, weed-patched tracks.
“AHHHHHHHH! — I almost died!!!!” you holler out to no one in particular — just needed to let the skies know the truth. ’Cause it IS true — you just about became a vulture’s pancake. Could have lost your head. A close call.
You feel something warm trickling down your leg — blood. A pretty big gash on your shin. Might warrant medical assistance. At the very least, cracking open the emergency first aid kit you made when you believed the world was going to end.
Your body begins to tremble like a fly on the shore after almost meeting its salt-water maker. The symptoms of shock. But just like the fly, you survived. And as you allow your nervous system to perform its natural shock response procedure, your bones and cells and tissues begin to settle.
You decide to take a few deep breaths — in the nose, out the mouth — ahhhh. It’s OK — you’re OK. You’ve got a skinned knee but some well-earned & needed awareness, too:
It doesn’t make sense to water & walk this set of train tracks any more.
You head back to your home to pick some blueberries from you garden which are ripe for the picking. The pear tree could use watering — you say to yourself as you pop a berry into your mouth. Looking at the perimeter of your yard, you notice the fence needs a new panel. And the car tire needs some air. Slowly, laughter and a lifetimes’ worth of relief begin to build up in your body.
What a morning!! You think to yourself. Time to do things differently.
Something is birthed of the refusal to engage with what our primal nature demands of us.
The feminine archetype can provide soul food and nurturance — it can energetically water our life, helping something we deeply need to grow.
It’s this methodical, practical, persistent act of tending to something with passion — because the passion speaks to a soulful need — which results in the development of a tangible need being met.
Sometimes, we become methodically indignant in our denial of how our usual actions aren’t getting us anywhere. They restrict the longing, desire-driven force of energy within us. It’s a plugged up consciousness. We walk the same tracks in our minds, following the self-denying drive to water weeds. It’s loyalty to comfort, out of fear of what engaging with passion might do to our lives — how it might alter our existence.
Comfort has its place. Grounding ourselves through pleasing activities is valuable. But when we are loyal to fixed acts of self indulgence which often aren’t even comfortable — they grind at us, irritating us below the surface of our every day — we need a shock to get us off the dusty track.
Discovering a new way to feel at home so we stop trying to stabilize ourselves through activities that deny our passion and in turn, rev up inner rage, is on the rise. At the very least, what we’ve been clinging to is being challenged, perhaps in shocking and emotionally intense ways.
Everyone has a bug a boo. Everyone has something within themselves they feel uncomfortable with. The intolerance of the human condition — all that is not and cannot be love & light; peace & calmness — feeds many industries. This denial backs many spiritual movements & practices.
We need acceptance of the fact that when we refuse to water an important area of life, something happens inside of us. Something is born of the continuous self-imposed thwart. Compulsions come from here. Neurosis. Rage.
We have an inner force that wants us to be loyal to what it has to say. The missions we set out on must be loyal to our souls purpose, which is to engage with what we feel passionate about, in a practical, tangible, and methodical way. This is why I love astrology — it helps us validate what that mission may be.
But when we are misusing our personal power — when we’re using it to indulge in stubborn habits of self-denial — sometimes, something comes along to break the pattern. So we stop comfort seeking through “I’ve always done it this way”, and start directing our methodical tendencies toward persistent acts of self stabilization.
The heart of the matter is this: a radical deviation from comfort seeking is occurring. You may feel the rumblings of it in the body, literally, on a cellular level.
This energy is great for flipping scripts. Ending something, a pattern of self-denial, with the help of harshness & shock which requires TLC of the nervous system. Recovery from the event.
It’s not necessarily a death, but it’s a change in the narrative of what we do everyday. The quality in which we plug away at something can experience a major deviation we didn’t see coming — but needed.
Think bigger picture. Shocks occur to free us from the known with far-reaching, unknown-as-yet outcomes. A destructive impulse or act can serve as the impetus for creating something new — that we needed.
Don’t get lost in the details of someone else’s story at this time. But pay attention to the themes. At least, don’t deny the red balloon floating in the corner of the room.
Life wants to change you.
An incredible force of energy lives within us all and it wants to be poured into acts of creation, rather than attempts to annihilate ourselves or others, intrapsychically or physically.
Let the passion and power be put to good use.
An opportunity to learn how to tolerate what you deem as unfair, unjust — not right. An evolutionary force is working away. What seems out of place or wrong has it’s role to play. Every event has a further reaching purpose.
Andrea Scoretz is a writer & consultant who uses astrology to explore the psyche, body & our patterns of relating. Join her community & get a 20% off coupon to use at her shop
